General Musings

”Beauty” by Sue

Dear readers, once again you are in for a treat- someone else has done the writing!!
The following is an essay by Sue. For more of her other work click here.
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I never imagined I had become depressed from my looks. It might sound silly but it broke my spirit. The last few years have been torturous.

My troubles started at the age of 15. I began to see myself as ugly after someone told me straight to my face “You are ugly’’.
I put up a brave front. ‘’I don’t mind.’’ I replied smiling.

That night I cried myself to sleep.

I could switch from wearing glasses to wearing contact lenses. I could change my wardrobe and my hairstyle but I couldn’t do a damn thing about my features. I soon grew disillusioned. I began to hate myself. Why couldn’t they see the inner me? That is what I had control over, not how I looked.

I would try to walk the streets with my head held up high but I was forever fearful of how people would see me.

I even tried to define beauty. I eventually concluded that beauty meant having straight hair, a small nose, big eyes, a small mouth and a skinny body. Well, I had big eyes and a skinny body but my nose! My hair!

I spent hours looking at my face, wishing I had a different nose and different hair. If I could change them, I could be beautiful! I was obsessed.What made things worse was that my parents never once told me I was beautiful. Was what I had been told true?

Then I came across a comforting concept “Beauty is relative”. It meant that while some might not think of you as beautiful, others might.This meant there wasn’t a unanimous definition of beauty. I was free! My nose might be pretty to someone else! I began to think positively. I started to pull myself away from the ugliness of despair. I felt more confident. I smiled more. I started to take better care of myself.

But it wasn’t enough. I still needed to hear that phrase. “You are beautiful.”

Well, I heard it one day. Although it might have been a lie, I chose to believe it as I was dying to hear it! That phrase was truly music to my ears.

I realize no one is perfect. I can’t make everyone like my looks but I shouldn’t care what people think. I allowed others to define me. I gave them authority by believing their words. I like to think that I have a unique look, a look that is mine alone. No one else has my eyes and my nose. I may have some flaws but I’M BEAUTIFUL.